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If, for example, it was to meet friends and that had been successful, then there is a different response to someone hoping to meet a marriage partner but was still looking. Those that had used a site said that you need to invest time and effort into it and to have courage in being willing to communicate and meet people. Some thought aloud about the way they thought God worked in the world and about whether it was OK to use a dating site or not from a Christian perspective.
Takes a lot of energy and courage. They sometimes appeared to set their pro-activity against God's will for them.
I'd rather wait for His best. If He knows I am to meet someone on the Internet, then so be it. However I have personally been selective about who I have told, because some Christians I know disapprove and think that if it's God's will, it should happen without us being proactive like that, especially as the woman I want to tell them not to apply for any jobs next time they are unemployed, because if God means them to have a job, they can just sit in the house and wait for him to bring them one!!
Difficult though, because those who need to hear it won't listen! Were I to hear my husband had died, I would go for it whole-heartedly. A strong positive driver to joining an online dating service was knowing others who had success in their use of online dating. Well, so far anyway!
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I tend to liken it to giving your details to a job agency, which is exactly where all the jobs are! There's such a pitiful lack of forums for meeting up with other single Christians. There were some comments about a shopping mentality and that selecting people to approach was choosing by appearance. Some commented that they experienced they became 'judgemental' in selecting or not selecting people with whom they might begin an online conversation. Others were criticised for expecting perfection. I also am aware that what I think I want isn't necessarily what I need Didn't like the person I became, 'boy shopping' based on photos and a few stats.
Plus the potential for disappointment when eloquent writers fail to match that with conversation. Most of the specific comments covered the desire to meet more face to face, in events, Christian holidays and so on. They expressed that it was more natural to meet in person, or for eyes to meet across a room. All dating sites have the problem that you get to know the facts, but not the person — the opposite way round to when you meet people in real life.
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Would prefer meeting someone face to face! I think everyone just puts their best points forward on a dating site, and for some people their hopes could be raised too high. I find it more natural to meet at an event or short holiday — I would want to see how a man interacts with others of both sexes there! I'm limited as I struggle financially.
I also do not feel comfortable waving at a bunch of men or initiating a lot of conversation.
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Some people commented on the difference between a dating site that is Christian and one that is not. In other words, they applied 'Christian' as an adjective to the dating site itself, rather than to those who are intended to use it. Others wanted to see adverts that might appear filtered even though these are usually under the control of their Web browser , and the remainder focused on expectations around responding to complaints.
I contacted the website, no response to any of my concerns. It doesn't help when people lie about themselves. It really wasn't something I expected from a Christian dating site and really put me off.
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I had hoped that men on Christian sites would be more considerate etc but that is clearly not the case. Making a direct comparison with other sites, eight said that they thought a Christian dating site was essentially the same as one without that label. Fifteen said they preferred to meet Christians on non-Christian sites, because of:. They say Christian dating sites attract weird people! The Christian sites tend to reflect the same problems of the Church. There were some differences in expectation from a dating site in terms of what it offers, including:. Like any tool or service, people find a variety of ways to use a dating service.
Some expressed concern people were there to form relationships, others rejoicing in the intentionality to do so.
And who knows one day I may find someone this way! Different women said that men were only looking for wives, that they were only looking for sex, and that they were only looking for friendship. It takes too much time and effort with little fruition.
Plus they are all looking for a wife! The usual Christian obsession with marriage rearing its head again. What's wrong with looking for a girlfriend?! I tried several sites and saw the same profiles on each site. After several months away from the site I returned and found the same men still looking.
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There are more women than men on these sites so it was strange to see this. Having met some of the men in person it is no surprise that they are still single. I think people on the Christian sites are not serious in their search for a marriage partner, they seem to be more interested in using the site to widen their group of friends and acquaintances. I no longer use the site but look at the discussion boards. Sometimes they have very lively debates going on. I think it's much better for meeting people than in church — there's a level of intentionality that often doesn't exist in other Christian settings and people online have often given much more thought to what they are looking for, which makes for some very positive connections and a fun dating experience.
I kind of used it more as a way to meet up with people locally as quickly as possible as I am much more of a face-to-face person.
In reflecting about their use of dating sites and how it would help them, 10 made suggestions about what functionality would help them. I had a slight interest but no way of initial communication other than set response. Could there be some almost 1: It's great on many levels but not always for dates: The facility to perhaps start a topic anonymously so that posters wouldn't be able to see what areas you are personally struggling with would be good.
Wish they had videos as I would like to listen to them first. I feel there would be benefit to allowing users to present themselves as happy committed Christians which I would consider myself to be without necessarily appearing as candidates for full-time ministry which I'm not. I am concerned that others may be too strict in their beliefs. The largest category of specific comment was about the need for potential partners to be local. I was on Fusion for three months and in that time one person wrote to me.
I could go on! The first time it was not successful, but later I met someone who has become a very dear long-term friend, making my life much more interesting and enjoyable. People often live quite a distance away from where I am. Hence the Bible say God will judge us according to what we know: Are you looking for a place to find a Christian soulmate?
As a Christian you desperately want him or her to share your love of God and Jesus but you just can't seem to find many born again Christians to date! Worldly dating services that say they are for born again Christians are actually not interested in your faith - only your membership fees! Check the about us section - to be sure if its a Christian company it will say so in there.
What's needed for Christians is a safe place to meet and interact with other born again Christian singles and Fusion Fusion has many thousands of born again believers on its database in line with what The Bible tells us about only being partners with belivers. As you know, Christians are told that faith without works is dead and this is the reason we made Fusion Christian Singles, so that you don't have to compromise your faith and date non believers. At Fusion we are very good at filtering out the non-Christians by deleting them as they come on the site much to their annoyance.
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But we want Christians only on our site - we don't care about the money - we care that Christians get equally yolked and a better deal than the secular world that always seems to have the best services and sites in all walks of life non just singles and dating. Some Christian dating web sites leave single Christians trying to discern where they can find a genuine Christian soul mate but ours is different.
One of the most prominent 'Christian' dating sites you'll have seen is actually about as far from Christianity as you can get.
Its run and own by people that run adult friend finder services, gay personals amongst a few - and they a the cheek to add all these members into their 'Christian' member headcoun, in actuality only having a handful of real born again belivers on ther site. Beware and check the about us sections of all 'Christian' singles sites you land on. Have fun with your Christian walk: What it means to be saved How can you be saved? Being saved by God's grace.